Guardian recaps Bond 23's progress in satirical crib sheet

Pass notes No 2,767: James Bond

Age: 57.

Appearance: When last seen, exactly like actor Daniel Craig.

When last seen? How long ago was that? In 2008, in the film Quantum of Solace

We must be about due for another one soon. You'd think so, wouldn't you?

Why are you arching one eyebrow like that? Development of the 23rd Bond film in the franchise, due for release in 2011/12, has been suspended indefinitely.

How can this be? The studio responsible, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, is $3.7bn in the red and awaiting a buyer. Lions Gate and Time Warner have made offers, but MGM is holding out. Under these circumstances, producers decided to shelve the Bond movie.

Does this mean that 007 has been forcibly retired? Has Bond finally met his nemesis in the form of poorly structured debt and restricted cash flow? Probably not. The last Bond film made £382m, so somebody will want to adopt him.

Wasn't this next film going to be written by Peter Morgan of Frost/Nixon fame? Yes, but recently it was announced that he was no longer working on the script.

And wasn't Sam Mendes meant to be directing? Yes, but he never signed anything, so his involvement is in doubt.

Have you got a name for this ill-fated 23rd Bond outing? I think they were just calling it Bond 23; you know, as a sort of working title.

No, I meant a funny name. Oh, I see – something like: You Only Live 22 Times; or The Time Warner Bid Is Not Enough; or Live In Debt Lie.

No, I meant a funny name. Fine. I'll leave you with a list of Bond titles for a few hours and see how you do.

Do say: "No, Mr Bond. I expect you to find funding from another quarter and commence principal photography in due course."

Don't say: "No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die!"

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